Understanding unhelpful thoughts: My personal journey of spotting fear and worry

Navigating the maze of our minds can feel overwhelming. Many of us face unhelpful thoughts that seem to pop up at the worst moments. My exploration of these thoughts has taught me the power of self-inquiry—a technique that can help us digest our worries. In this post, I’ll share my personal journey of spotting unhelpful thoughts. Together, we’ll discover the questions that can reveal the truth behind our fears and worries.

What Am I Worried About?

The first step in recognising unhelpful thoughts is identifying them. Worries often appear in a confusing mix, making it hard to understand what they truly are. In my experience, writing down my fears brought clarity. For example, when I jotted down, “I’m worried about my upcoming presentation,” I discovered deeper concerns—fear of judgment, potential failure, and the anxiety of letting others down.

Breaking down my worries into smaller pieces made them more manageable. When we name our worries, we start the process of regaining control over them.

Why Am I Worried?

Asking “why” was a pivotal moment for me. This question helped uncover the root causes of my worries. For instance, my anxiety around the presentation tied back to deeper feelings about self-worth and the need for approval. Research shows that fear often stems from experiences of vulnerability; about 70% of people struggle with similar feelings in high-pressure situations.

Understanding the underlying reasons illuminated patterns in my thinking. My confidence issues derived from past experiences of criticism. Confronting these uncomfortable truths allowed me to take charge of the narrative I tell myself.

What Is Frightening Me?

Fear can distort reality, making our worries seem much larger than they are. To challenge this distortion, I began dissecting what specifically scared me. For instance, when I thought, “I might forget my lines,” I asked, “What is the worst that could happen if that occurs?”

This inquiry revealed that my fears were often exaggerated. Most panic scenarios—like forgetting key points—are rarely as catastrophic as I imagined. Studies suggest that about 90% of what we worry about never happens. By addressing specific fears and questioning their truth, I gradually replaced unhelpful thoughts with constructive alternatives.

What Do I Think Will Happen?

Visualising outcomes is a powerful tool to reveal the irrationality of our fears. One day, I detailed my worst-case scenario regarding the presentation—tripping over my words, an audience laughing, and extreme embarrassment. As I wrote, I realised that these outcomes were highly unlikely.

More often than not, the chance of facing the worst scenarios is quite low. Research shows that preparing for the unexpected reduces anxiety significantly. By rethinking what might happen, I shifted my focus more toward what I could control and how to prepare.

What Is It About This Situation That Is Making Me Worried?

Exploring specific triggers for my anxiety changed the game. I questioned why the presentation caused so much distress. I found that the environment felt like a test—a place of evaluation where I feared judgment. Recognising this helped me frame my worries as situational rather than personal failures.

With this insight, I identified strategies to reduce my anxiety. Practices like positive affirmations and rehearsing in a relaxed setting helped me feel more secure. Tuning into how specific situations influence us empowers us and encourages a more balanced response.

Embracing Mindfulness as a Tool

Mindfulness became essential in my journey to spot unhelpful thoughts. By being present, I learned to acknowledge my fears without judgment. Instead of dismissing them, I began observing them. This practice showed me that unhelpful thoughts are just that—thoughts. They don’t define me; they pass like clouds in the sky.

This perspective diminished the grip those thoughts had on my feelings, enabling me to respond effectively rather than react impulsively.

Steps to Recognize Your Unhelpful Thoughts

• Journaling: Create a sanctuary for your thoughts. Write down your worries freely to help clarify them.

• Questioning: Use the questions we discussed to dive deeper into your feelings. The more you ask, the clearer the picture becomes.

By recognising your thoughts and actively questioning them, you will take the first steps toward transformation.

Wrapping It Up

Understanding unhelpful thoughts is a continual journey that takes time and patience. By asking the right questions and exploring our fears, we can turn overwhelming thoughts into manageable challenges. This self-awareness fosters resilience and paves the way for a more balanced life. Remember, it's not about eliminating worries altogether but about creating a healthier relationship with them.

Embrace this journey and welcome the process of spotting and understanding your unhelpful thoughts.

Space for personal reflection .